Grunty goes down well with the boys in our house. Mum hates it which is a huge bonus!

Hey greeny, you forgot "No 2" that should keep both Mum & Gran happy!

LMAO Keep 'em comming Stamp
When we talk about the kids in front of them and we dont want them to know we are talking about them, we refer to then as "No 1" and "No 2" or sometimes "wee" and "poo". It's a cack to see the look of confusion they give us
hahaha Grunty... love it
I feel immature

Italian saying "Krunya"

you have to roll the rrrrrr

Touching cloth
Building a log cabin

Elmo, i don't get "given birth to a pom"?!

Log
Lam post
Blind mullet
Bondi Cigar
Bondi Mullet
Follow through (from a Fart)
Brown cigar

Some Definitions dug up from Urban dictionary



Poo well, they're are many types of poo in this universe

There is

THE SWEETCORN - Poo that has leftover sweetcorn from last night's dinner

THE PELLETS - Little pellets of poo that comes out of your ass like a machine gun

THE FIREBALL - A big poo that really hurts and leaving your ass hot, usually happens after a curry

THE SLIPPY - A poo that swiftly moves out of your bottom that requires no wiping

THE WATERHOSE - When a massive monsoon of **** comes out of your bottom and requires hours of wiping

THE NEVERENDING STORY - An amazing acheivment is when a poo goes on and on and on.......

THE STEAMY HEAPY - Boy, That is basically ONE MASSIVE ****!!!!!!!

THE STICKY - When you have a poo stuck onto the hairs of your crack and requires hours of wiping (maybe a pair of scissors)

poo



Poo is a byproduct of your body. Poo is primarily composed of dehydrated waste manufactured in from the works of many organs in your body. Some include the Gall Bladder, Small Intestine, Large Intestine, Stomach, Esophagus, and many more.
Poo is commonly propelled out of your rectum usually preceding speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. There are multiple types of poos, such as,

Gattling Gun: The Gattling Gun is when your anus continually produces poo pellets which erupt out of your ass into the water.

Splashers: Splashers are actually quite common. They refer to any kind of poo that hits the water of the toilet bowl and the water displaces onto your ass and you aquire an annoying yet real feeling of a splashed ass.

One Eyed Green Monster: The One Eyed Green Monster, or O.E.G.M., is a greenish hue poo that has usually a few nuts in it. O.E.G.M.s are usually mixed with a dark redish color or brownish color and seem to appear when there are some extra foods that have flown through the digestive track. The greenish poo usually represents illness.

The Red Baron: Red Barons are red poos basically. They attain the color of red through stain of your very own blood. A Red Baron may more commonly make your anus bleed instead of being stained with its blood.

Burning Brigade: The Burning Brigade is usually a series of poos that result in a tired and extremely overheated anus. These poos steam at sight and leave your anus in no better condition. Burning Brigades are known to acheive temperatures of over twice that of the sun. Sometimes a Burning Brigade will be enflamed and scorch the inside of your anus threatening a bowel reallignment.

What the ****: What the ****s are nicknamed after what you say when you look at your poo. A W.T.F. usually contains an arrangement of different items in your poo that you may have digested earlier. From gum to just about anything is what they may contain. What the ****s may take on any trait of any other poo making them a admirable foe, but are usually related to Corporate Casuals.

Creamy Corn: Creamy Corns contain Corn as their name implies. Creamy Corns are generally creamy with abundant tidbits of corn layden across the poo. Creamy Corns generally slide right out of your anus very quickly. Creamy Corns are a subcategory of What the ****s, and generally harmless.

Rocky Road: Rocky Roads are simply nutty poos. They are a subcategory of a W.T.F. If you overeat on nuts, expect a Rocky Road. Sometimes the nuts violently scratch at your innocent inner-buttox causing a great deal of pain. Rocky Roads look nutty and brown and usually quite chunky.

Slick and Clean: Also known as the S.A.C. S.A.C.s slide out of the anus without leaving a mess or requiring you to wipe it, but out of good integrity, you do. Slick and Cleans are what everyone hopes for every poo session. S.A.C.s sometime merge with Love Trains to create an annoying but strangely satifying turd. S.A.C.s are loved around the world as the world and were discovered as the world's first non-volatile poo!

Slick and Dirty: Slick and Dirties, or S.A.D.s are opposite S.A.C.s in terms of the stains they leave. Slick and Dirties are slick but leave massive poo stains all over your buttox and are extremely messy. S.A.D.s are extremely moist usually and can easily be broken down by being releived on by its yellow countpart. A releiving yet grotesque poo, it was also the rated the second most non-volatile poo when it was discovered. S.A.D.s have grasped atmospheric speeds that violently assault the water creating a chunky messy Splasher.

Winnie the Pooh: Also known as the"Pooh." Poohs are poos that get stuck in your asscrack and refuse to get out. Through much energy and constipation eventually the Pooh may be pried free and released to go about its buisness.

Hamlet: Hamlets are very similar to Poohs. Hamlets are tiny poo pellets that you wish you could get out of your ass but no matter how hard you try it wont budge. If you eventually give up the dastardly deed, then you have the feeling of a poo lodged inside of your anus for quite a while. Hamlets are optional poos really, as long as you don't push for one you wont be stuck in its pickle.

Corporate Casual: The Corps are known as plainly regular poos. They don't take on any specifics rather than perhaps that of a Splasher. Corps aren't anything to worry about and simply fit the description of a regular turd. Corporate Casuals are also refered to as "Mimics" as they can easily take on the function of any of these poos in a half-baked way.

Cheesey Gordida: Cheesey Gordidas are generally yellow poos. Cheesy Gordidas are usually quite goey and liquid like, but still manage to maintain a solid form. Cheesy Gordidas are prevented when you exhume the Cheesy Gordida Crunch manufactured with brain juice in Tacobell. Cheesy Gordida Crunches were named this because of their function of halting Cheesy Gordidas. A Cheesy Gordida turns into a Nickel Raid when treated with the medicine Cheesy Gordida Crunch.

Nickel Raids: Nickel Raids are the product of a Cheesy Gordida being treated. Nickel Raids are hundreds of poo pellets no bigger than half an inch that rapidly propel out of your but and make your anus feel like a Yeti is trying to get it. Nickel Raids do save you from the pain of a Cheesy Gordida but aren't that great.

The Love Train: The Love Train is a concentrated essence of love-fudge. Love Trains are extremely lengthy but sometimes very slim. The Love Trains usually cause rashes due to the constant irritation aganist the skin from the train. Love Trains are closely related to the Slick and Clean and sometimes you can see the time in combination. The longest Love Train recorded was 11 feet in length but about 1' in width. They seem to get thinner but longer.

Water Fountain: Water Fountains and Splashers are commonly mixed up. Water Fountain is liquid like poo that is impelled out of the butt at a speed faster than the fastest man on Earth. This session of poos will certainly have Splashers in it and usually a Water Fountain can last for three days!

Gassy Max: The Gassy Max poo, refers to anal leakage. Anal leakage is where you feel the need to fart, and you do but instead of a delectable gas coming out, your are bestowed upon a renegade pellet which usually are very watery as well.

Behemoth: The Behemoths are extremely large poo snakes that may reach up to 1 foot in length. The Behemoth is a pain to dispel and usually clogs your toilet. If you feel the need of a Behemoth, go outside and let it free, otherwise you will have to go the extra mile to unclog the bastard. Behemoths occur when your anus feels like playing a trick on you, although it risks ripping, your buttox contains its own paralell mind known as the sub concious. This was proved in 1786 from a test by Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Nemesis: Nemesis is a life-threatening poo. Its known to have reached sizes of about 3 feet in length and 6' in width. Nemesi are also known as "The Brown Death." If you feel the need of a Nemesis you need to hurry, Nemesi move through your digestion track with denomic speed. Nemesi have the lead statistic in violently ripping asses open. Back in ancient times, the Nemesi were regarged as a curse in an attempt to spawn the Anti-Christ and were imbued with satanic powers. Today such ideas are still taught.

In General
"Yo i've got to let the dogs out yo! Chitz is scratching alot!"
"Excuse while i engage in disgorging myself of poo."
"Poos are a gift from heaven, if you don't like taking poos, then don't."
"WHY! Why have i been forsaken with this poo?! WHY GOD! WHY!"
"I do beleive it is my right to request the ability to take a poo during class."

Gattling Gun
"My god this Gattling Gun has entered a cheat of infinite ammo!"

Splashers
"God damn i hate Splashers..."

One Eyed Green Monster
"Ah man my poo is green! Look theres a nut in the middle! It looks like a One Eyed Green Monster!"

The Red Baron
"My ass aches! Oh no a Red Baron! Theres blood everywhere!"

Burning Brigade
"My ass feels like its been in a kiln! Damn you Burning Brigade!"

What the ****
"What the **** is that?"

Creamy Corn
"Ahh gross! Its a Creamy Corn!"

Rocky Road
"OH! MY ASS! The burning sensation of my ass crack getting mutilated on all sides of the retum by a Rocky Road is unbearable!"

Slick and Clean
"Lets see what do we got here... hey wow my ass is already clean! Oh that was a SaC! Yes i love Slick and Cleans!"

Slick and Dirty
"Jesus i've been through an entire paper roll, this was some Slick and Dirty!"

Winnie the Pooh
"Release me of your constant bickering Winnie the Pooh!"

Hamlet
"**** i shouldn't have pushed, now i've got a Hamlet!"

Çorporate Casual
"Whew looks like its only a Corp."

Cheesy Gordida
"Eww gross a Cheesy Gordida! Look at it squirm!"

Nickel Raid
"AHHHHHHH!"

The Love Train
"This is one long ass Love Train!"

Gassy Max
"Here comes a fart! Ah, that felt, wait, what the hell! OH NO IT WAS A GASSY MAX!"

Water Fountain
"UGH! Water Fountain, my ass feels like a girl in the middle of a bukakke!"

Behemoth
"My ass crack cannot take it any longer its going to give to this Behemoth!"

Nemesis
*Denomic music starts playing

Damn, I wish I had finished my breakfast before I read your post, Elmo!

My personal fav...... opening the bomb bay doors!!

LOL Elmo mate!
What can I say?
If there was a master's degree in poo'ology you would pass with super great extraordinary honors!!!

Speaking of poo... When traveling in India I stayed at a place were when you'd go to the toilet (the kind of old Ozzie back yard dunnies) you would get a few pigs fighting to be the first one in front of the PVC pipe that was coming out of the ground about 10m from the dunny. The noise echoing into the PVC would make you think and feel like Mr piggy was right there liking your brown date...mmm...mmm

Jamin

lager bomb

The grog bog: Hard to believe that something that big and smelly could exit from such a small orifice. Only occurs after a big night on the turps. Sometimes requires the assistance of a coathanger to get it around the S bend.


On a related note:
What happened to the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil!

Sticky Date Pudding

The Big Stink

strangling a paki

my mates favorite

hanging a pastey