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Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

23 Apr 2007 10:22am

Just interested to find out the problems and difficulties that can arise for either guys or girls to get their green cards to kite at the weekends if you have a partner that doesn't do the sport or have the same intense passion for it as you.

Mr float

NSW

3452 posts

Mr float

NSW, 3452 posts

23 Apr 2007 12:29pm

definitely .Thats why i bought a kite shop ."i gotta go and drum up some business,bye

'
Sertiously tho my partner and kids are very supportive and I make sure there is a balance and encourage my partner to do things in the morning or at night where we can balance the ledger

Saffer

VIC

4501 posts

Saffer

VIC, 4501 posts

23 Apr 2007 12:34pm

quote:
Originally posted by Mr float

definitely .Thats why i bought a kite shop ."i gotta go and drum up some business,bye'
Sertiously tho my partner and kids are very supportive and I make sure there is a balance and encourage my partner to do things in the morning or at night where we can balance the ledger

I think you hit the nail on the head with one word...balance...

If you expect to go out kiting every day and get away with it, you're in for a shock. Do it in moderation and you get much further.

Personally if you are in a daylight savings area, try to get out more midweek evenings and spend the weekend time with them with the odd saturday or sunday kiting every second weekend. I found my partner was more accepting of this, because whether you are out kiting, or going to gym 3 nights a week, it doesn't interfere much with her social affairs.

Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

23 Apr 2007 10:42am

Thanks guys.....do you ever get those days that are just too good to pack up and go home and you over run on your time......whats the best way to deal with what is waiting for you on your return from the beach?

mrbonk

NSW

483 posts

mrbonk

NSW, 483 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:05pm

quote:
Originally posted by Caelah

whats the best way to deal with what is waiting for you on your return from the beach?

The best way to deal with it? Give 'it' the flick and hook up with someone who shares your interests. Of course, that's not necessarily the easiest way to deal with it.

It might sound selfish, but as far as I'm concerned, I think I owe it to myself to be happy. If continual compromise makes you happy, stick with it then. If not, well......

mrbonk

NSW

483 posts

mrbonk

NSW, 483 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:12pm

quote:
Originally posted by Saffer

If you expect to go out kiting every day and get away with it, you're in for a shock.

My GF and I kite every day if it's windy enough

Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

23 Apr 2007 11:30am

You'd think that having a partner that kites would be a positive thing but I'm not so sure.......kiting is my escape and I think it's healthy to have something for yourself. To date I've only had one kiting BF (out of three previous) who I could've spent endless time with on and off the water. Sadly we lived too far apart for it to work. BUT, I do know plenty of kiting/half kiting couples where it works really well.

I'm interested in the non kiting partners thing because it's always a topic that comes up at the beach.

dan OK?

VIC

253 posts

dan OK?

VIC, 253 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:38pm

Yep Spot on Bonk. I think I work long and hard enough to have urned my kite sessions on the rare days its windy!
When I dont get to go, Im pretty hard to live with!

Kitehard

2782 posts

Kitehard

WA, 2782 posts

23 Apr 2007 11:48am

Hi Caelah,

I think Mr Float has it right, it's about balance. Being reasonable with your time is only fair if you really care about your SO (and want to avoid a fiery ding dong or the ice queen (no Tina, I'm not talking about you honey

).

I married a tops chicky who kites too, this made life a fair bit easier with regards to water time. Before the bambino, we both kited together and spent as much time on the water as we wanted.

By giving a little it will certainly iron out some of the bumps of a relationship, if not and you find yourself driving home late again for a dinner appointment because the surf and wind were pumping and you were having a frothworthy session, a 5 minute stop into a BP for some flowers, a box of nice chockies, a 5 minute stop in the liquor store to pick up a nice bottle of plonk and 30 minutes wailing your heart out begging for forgiveness usually works

If not, make sure you buy a really comfy couch

Good winds,

mrbonk

NSW

483 posts

mrbonk

NSW, 483 posts

23 Apr 2007 2:05pm

quote:
Originally posted by Caelah

I'm interested in the non kiting partners thing because it's always a topic that comes up at the beach.

Whenever I've been around and the topic has come up, it's invariably centered around how much it sucks having 'other committments' all the time.

When I had a non kiting partner, it was a total PITA. I vowed I'd never do it again.....life's way too short to be unhappy all the time

meerkat

644 posts

meerkat

WA, 644 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:00pm

kiting makes me less grumpy and therefore a nicer person to be around. The more i kite the nicer i am, simple.

get a partner who has a similar interest OR a similar addictiveness to another sport. Failing that get a towel warmer who will come to the beach and loof after your gear.

insomniac_alcoholic

190 posts

insomniac_alcoholic

WA, 190 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:38pm

At my house it's not a Green Card it's Brownie Points.

If I earn enough Brownie Points I'm allowed to go kiting.

Luckily, I'm allowed to go, and have gone, well into debt but as the off season is upon us I hope to be in credit by September.

With a 20 month old and a 4 month old at home I think I'm lucky to get out at all but having 4 days off a week helps.

As the others said, all in moderation, but now the missus has stopped popping out sprogs I'm hoping to get her out on the water too.

Mr float

NSW

3452 posts

Mr float

NSW, 3452 posts

23 Apr 2007 3:47pm

Yes currently earning some serious brownie points .looking after 5 kids at the end of the holidays while partner does meditation course .
here's another tip get onto weatherzone and learn how to read the long range synoptic maps .Theyre pretty accurate and you can plan brownie point days and likely kiting days (no point organising a leave pass for a dud day).unisys weather go even further ahead up to 9 days and they are usually quite good too

I suspect that if my partner was into kiting there would be conflict of interest in the kid minding dept too ,something to consider down the track perhaps

Mr float

NSW

3452 posts

Mr float

NSW, 3452 posts

23 Apr 2007 3:47pm

Mr float

NSW

3452 posts

Mr float

NSW, 3452 posts

23 Apr 2007 3:47pm

em

318 posts

23 Apr 2007 1:48pm

quote:
Originally posted by Caelah

I'm interested in the non kiting partners thing because it's always a topic that comes up at the beach.

Gosh, good to hear! I got scared to start with, I thought you were pregnant or something!!!!

I've found a way around that works well for me... I only date in winter!

LOL.
Ok, seriously (sort of). Kitesurfing is what I speak about at work and it's what I do on my time off, so it became essential for my sanity NOT to be with a kitesurfer (may sounds weird... but I'm really happy having a partner who sees something else than the kitesurfer in me). I've only had non-kiting partners and it's never been an issue as they were individuals with their own passions and respectful of mine. It is true that sometimes we weren't seeing each other much though... And may be that on the long run it would have become an issue (but then I would have taught them I suppose!

Easy...)
I agree with the boys comments regarding balance.
I think in this case females have an advantage over men as I reckon it's a lot easier for us to find a male partner tolerant of our addiction than the other way around...

Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

23 Apr 2007 2:00pm

OMG Em....me pregnant haha!!!

Love the "Winter Only" dating thing, that could definitely work

as I'd be happy to spend hours snuggled under the doona when it's cold and wet instead of freezing my backside off at the beach for average wind conditions

GreenPat

QLD

4107 posts

GreenPat

QLD, 4107 posts

23 Apr 2007 5:19pm

quote:
Originally posted by em

...females have an advantage over men as I reckon it's a lot easier for us to find a male partner ~~tolerant of our addiction~~ than the other way around...

I think you could just leave it at that and still be accurate.

user

1140 posts

user

WA, 1140 posts

23 Apr 2007 4:24pm

It takes two to Tango !

robbo1111

NSW

656 posts

robbo1111

NSW, 656 posts

24 Apr 2007 9:38am

You're speaking my language hear Caelah, my wife is so anti-sport I have learnt to become quite deceptive with my sporting pursuits. In summer with kiting and windsurfing I'll change back into my work clothes and proceed home as if I've had a long day at work. Now with summer over I'm not that fanatically about water-time but the soccer season has started and I play competitive golf year round so the art of deception is a little more difficult.

One thing I've learnt over the years is as soon as you give something up as a compromise to the other half, it is virtually impossible to get it back. So dig your heels in as a couple of hours of silent treatment is more than offset by a good session on the water.

Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

24 Apr 2007 7:55am

I'm with you on the compromise thing robbo.....give an inch they'll take a mile and that has always been the case for me no matter what it's about!!

It's not necessarily being in the bad books that's a problem but more the severity of it which you can control to a certain degree

getfunky

4485 posts

getfunky

WA, 4485 posts

24 Apr 2007 11:30am

I hear ya honey...

My partner is a read cook books for adrenalin supply type, and she hates sand, cold and wind... bugger! Hence the one and only lame photo of me kiting on my profile. She lasted 15 mins on the beach and buggered off. Years n years ago I tried to get her to boogy with me when I surfed but eventually gave up (in fairness I was pushing her to do something she just didn't get).

I must admit I have thought lots about what a kiting partner would be like and it would be a mixed blessing I reckon. When it's early days in the "honeymoon" period I'm sure sharing the stoke and kiting together, then yabbering all night (punctuated by lots of good lovin) would be unreal but what happens when you want some personal space? Or maybe a non-kiting examination of the world/music/feelings/ingredients of cornflakes? (they are corn BTW)

Also I reckon it's a trap to be overly attracted to one aspect of a person.. eventually you might find that he/she thinks John Howard has helped evolve Australia's openess and tolerance of all walks of life!!!

Then it's "crikey he/she is a bunny boiler time to bail" - parachute or not!!

I must admit I used to do the winter partner thing (unconciously) myself and as long as honesty is prevailing theres no harm. Hey everbody loves a doona partner in winter (as long as the dutchies are kept to a minimum...

Ultimately Caelah your lucky enough to have born a chicky babe so youv'e got nature on your side (and several thousand gagging males on the other).

Good luck in the supermarket of life...

GreenPat

QLD

4107 posts

GreenPat

QLD, 4107 posts

24 Apr 2007 3:01pm

Funky,

I think you'll find that Caela wasn't the one looking for a solution to the choice of partner, she was looking to manage the one she's already got.

Me on the other hand, still in the market, with the odds stacked against a suitable kiting chick. The blind date from the AGM, while she kites, doesn't seem that enthusiastic about it.

I think I'm just going to have to take what I can get...

Stuff that, I'm not going to lower my standards.

bigmark100

NSW

584 posts

bigmark100

NSW, 584 posts

24 Apr 2007 3:02pm

You need to ensure your partner understands how passionate you are about whatever it is you are passionate about, and lets you live your passion.
If they don't respect that - and allow you to be yourself - then they are not the right person for you.
And so what if you stay later than you said you would. They should understand. Unless of course you have an wedding or a special event to go to.
You are both adults. And its a relationship not a competition. I think its quite typical behaviour for a kitesurfer (well of me anyway) to promise to be home by a certain time. Winds blowing outside - you're desperate to get out, your adrenalin is pumping, you'll say anything to get out. And once there - if it is a great day, its very very hard to leave.
I've let my partner down quite a few times because of this. But am always pleasantly surprised when I creep into the house only to its not a problem.
Of course - you cant get home and just go to sleep cause you're knacked. Now you need to spend some quality time with her, which after a day long session can be pretty tough going.
Also very important to make sure you behave super happy after a good session. Which of course is not hard.

ps - if they dont miss you when you're gone you should also be concerned.!

elizabethb

QLD

2081 posts

elizabethb

QLD, 2081 posts

24 Apr 2007 4:15pm

quote:
Originally posted by Caelah

You'd think that having a partner that kites would be a positive thing but I'm not so sure.......kiting is my escape and I think it's healthy to have something for yourself. ------ Sadly we lived too far apart for it to work. BUT, I do know plenty of kiting/half kiting couples where it works really well.

I'm interested in the non kiting partners thing because it's always a topic that comes up at the beach.

Here here Caelah...

I totallllyy agree with you girl

Sometimes it's great to have that time kiting with your mates you kite with and be able to go back home to the one that means heaps to you. Like he goes fishing or bike riding etc.

But on the other hand, I'm finding it's awesome that my guy (who had only seen kiting), has actually looked up all these things on kiting, and really wants to try it out and get into it... and can hold a near full on kiting convo with me and the rest of the guys.

Now that's the dedication I want

xtortya

322 posts

xtortya

WA, 322 posts

24 Apr 2007 2:48pm

my girlfriend never see's my beard again, if i never hear her whinging about kiting again. Pretty simple idea, It's worked really well so far, especially considering i never really liked the beard in the first place, just too lazy to shave (don't tell her that)

mrbonk

NSW

483 posts

mrbonk

NSW, 483 posts

24 Apr 2007 5:06pm

quote:
Originally posted by bigmark100

You need to ensure your partner understands how passionate you are about whatever it is you are passionate about, and lets you live your passion. If they don't respect that - and allow you to be yourself - then they are not the right person for you.

Exactly my point. Regardless of what your particular passion is, if you're unable to indulge it (or continually have to curtail the level of your indulgence) because of friction with your partner, you have to ask yourself what you're doing there in the first place.

Caelah

319 posts

Caelah

WA, 319 posts

24 Apr 2007 3:36pm

hey greenpat, I'm not trying to manage the one I have because there is no-one! I was just interested in how everyone else copes, because in past relationships with kiters I've felt saturated by the sport because it's all that is talked about and done in the spare time......

Balance the scales I suppose!

Saffer

VIC

4501 posts

Saffer

VIC, 4501 posts

24 Apr 2007 5:38pm

quote:
Originally posted by mrbonk

quote:
Originally posted by bigmark100

You need to ensure your partner understands how passionate you are about whatever it is you are passionate about, and lets you live your passion. If they don't respect that - and allow you to be yourself - then they are not the right person for you.

Exactly my point. Regardless of what your particular passion is, if you're unable to indulge it (or continually have to curtail the level of your indulgence) because of friction with your partner, you have to ask yourself what you're doing there in the first place.

Agreed, but I don't believe you can expect to go out every Saturday and Sunday for the entire day and have your partner be happy about it. There is a line between passionate and extreme.

As much as you say, if your partner understands your passion they will give you leeway to continue with it, I think its also fair to say, if you haven't found someone you enjoy spending time with enough to miss the odd session, then they are also not the right person for you.

mrbonk

NSW

483 posts

mrbonk

NSW, 483 posts

24 Apr 2007 8:03pm

quote:
Originally posted by Saffer

As much as you say, if your partner understands your passion they will give you leeway to continue with it, I think its also fair to say, if you haven't found someone you enjoy spending time with enough to miss the odd session, then they are also not the right person for you.

I'm not talking about missing the odd session.

I'm talking about always having to give an assurance that you'll be home before a certain time, then winding up on the 5h!t list because you stayed an extra half an hour because the wind was good. Or having to miss out altogether because it's 'her turn' this weekend to do something she likes (which you invariably don't), even though it's perfect wind for kiting.

I just don't understand why people put themselves through all that. If you're not compatible, get out. Find someone who shares your passions, instead of someone you'll eventually resent for not letting you pursue them.

GreenPat

QLD

4107 posts

GreenPat

QLD, 4107 posts

24 Apr 2007 8:18pm

Oh ok Caela, I'm confused.

I thought your decline of my indecent proposal (www.seabreeze.com.au/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=25861 ) was due to a prior committment, to someone called Pete perhaps? That was just guessing based on context though, none of it was very clear.

If it helps, I have been kiting long enough not to talk about it constantly anymore, plus since buying Katie.M I talk about motorbikes a lot now

. Still single, still on that professional salary...

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