i was gonna raise the issue about the board in the next thread


but seriously, the board is safe and sound in the other hand

kitebt said..
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.

I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.

I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?

BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.

We need this guy

Kozzie said..
learn to self land. if you cant self and then you are not an independent kitesurfer.

Not always possible dude. Altona is a very small beach on high tide and anyone self landing there (and I have seen them do it) needs a swift kick to the testicles.

What ****s me is when you are helping some dude launch (usually an overpowered kite in heavy conditions) you hold his kite up and then he starts walking towards you!! This starts forcing you backwards and then you realise the numb nuts has not fully inflated the bladder when WHAM the whole thing bends in half and wraps you in a salty embrace. THAT gives me anger management issues right there.

DONT WALK TOWARDS THE GUY HOLDING YOUR KITE WHEN LAUNCHING IT

Right, off to pick the sand out of my vag then.

I always carry my pocket knife when helping to launch strangers. Don't ask!

junglist said..

Kozzie said..
learn to self land. if you cant self and then you are not an independent kitesurfer.

Not always possible dude. Altona is a very small beach on high tide and anyone self landing there (and I have seen them do it) needs a swift kick to the testicles.

What ****s me is when you are helping some dude launch (usually an overpowered kite in heavy conditions) you hold his kite up and then he starts walking towards you!! This starts forcing you backwards and then you realise the numb nuts has not fully inflated the bladder when WHAM the whole thing bends in half and wraps you in a salty embrace. THAT gives me anger management issues right there.

DONT WALK TOWARDS THE GUY HOLDING YOUR KITE WHEN LAUNCHING IT

Right, off to pick the sand out of my vag then.

i can self land on a ****ing dime mate and everyone else who knows how to safely self land can aswell. i dont want to hear about your magical spot where you think its not possible. are you seriously telling me that if you know what your doing safely you should be punished?!? people like you guys are exactly why i never let anyone touch my paraglider or my kites. second one of you muppets get a hold of it you do something you think in your infinite wisdom is correct.

i have done more kiting alone (literally on my own islands with no one else around at all) then with other kiters. you learn pretty quick how to be independent when its your only chance of survival. i really dont understand what some of you peanuts in these over populated citys are even on about half the time. its ****ing embarrassing. half of you **** yourself if theres more then 30 kites in the air and yas think a 30m beach is to small.

i havent been to altona but ive seen enough photos to know it would take 2? maybe 3? of you peanuts to start launching and landing out in the water rather then this **** your on about all the time. if you really gave a **** about safety go cry about that. locals and there local rules allways crack me up. just do the safest thing possible and thats it end of story. honestly if you think altona is some super difficult spot your a super inexperienced kiter. go learn to self land properly put your own kite where you want it to land and try not to hurt yourself okay diddums.

^^^^i think you go kiting on your own for a reason Kozzie, nice rant, how many islands do you own fella ?

Why do crew get so worked up, its ok, settle down, have a nice day, ha ha

PS if you dont like sand on your kite, fly it indoors.

Kozzie said..

i have done more kiting alone

hmmmm I wonder why?

dusta said..

Gorgo said..



2. I always land my kites dry and I usually self-launch and land. I only use a catcher if conditions are extreme and there's somebody around to help. I hate getting sand on my kites because it makes them dirty and causes unnecessary wear and tear.

what kind of sand do you have in victoria ? Mud ?

i have never heard of sand making a kite dirty . As for wear and tear well as long as there are no foreign objects in the sand i call bollox on that unless you have the same kite for 20 years

bollocks

the gibbo said..

^^^^i think you go kiting on your own for a reason Kozzie, nice rant, how many islands do you own fella ?

Why do crew get so worked up, its ok, settle down, have a nice day, ha ha

PS if you dont like sand on your kite, fly it indoors.

i own every island upto the high tide mark matey

KIT33R said..

kitebt said..

Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.



I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.



I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?



BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.

We need this guy

Nah... he specialises in launching, landing is just not his thing. Doesnt do it.

stabber said..

who ever started this thread has two dicks!


You don't get that stupid playing with one.

hahhahaha all these years and never heard that one cheers for that :D

i tell my daughter to say that to the wankers at her school giving her sh!t, problem is, its a private Christian school .....and shes only 6 years old.

I like to ask a random bikini on the beach if she's ever landed a kite and after a quick induction fly the kite just above her head and enjoy the view as she reaches for the leading edge...

Or, just land the kite yourself. Plenty of YouTube footage on how to do this safely.

Disconnecting and walking to the grass is a bit much, but I think catch and hold while the kiter runs up and takes it from you seems to tick all the boxes.

The kite gets caught and held away from sand, dirt, sticks, rocks.
It takes very little skill or initiative from the catcher. Simply Grab it, catch it, hold it (to paraphrase a legendary Australian song title.)
The kiter runs up and says thanks and you might exchange a few words about the conditions and the babes on the beach.

Heheh,

Someone posted about walking forward. I agree, don't walk forward at all while launching or landing. Stand firm. I'm not big on running up and over the dunes through the shrubs, or getting waste deep in the water when I'm still in my jeans.

Landing on sand is fine, can always pack down on grass.