divaldo said...

I seriously don't know why you even put this up on seabreeze dude....

Its healthy to talk.

I like girlfriend, affair, relationship threads the suggestions always make me laugh.
We need more of this stuff.

Maybe remind him that his wife will find out sooner or later... And then his world as he knows it will come crashing down, and he'll be paying her out with a settlement, she'll keep the house, he'll need to rent a place, or move in with the other girl... It's gunna get messy !!

Simondo said...

she was also still happy to have a good buy spanking!

Sounds like fun... but who paid?

Pugwash said...

Simondo said...

Maybe remind him that his wife will find out sooner or later...

Then ask him to think of the consequences once she does find out...

Wouldn't want to be in his shoes..

You'd think that a principle is a principle...

This thread reminds me of the girl saying: "I would never engage in prostitution, it's disgusting. Well, for $1000 maybe".

Either you're against cheating, by whomever, and then you take action.
Or you keep pretending that it's wrong and in fact you condone it.

I find trust a big issue in friendship
I wouldn't call someone who betrayed another person a mate.

Loose the best friends. Your friends cant be that close if you don't know his misses.

You have to distance yourself with this idiot before his problem is apart of yours.

People change........maybe he has helped you regarding the loss/grief/anger stages associated with death of people you care about but that was 'positive social support' he offered as opposed to the 'negative social support' that he is seeking from you.


The other thing to consider is does the other woman involved know that he is married? If she doesn't, then that means he is 'using' , or putting his needs (whatever they may be, he probably needs to work that out himself) ahead of 4 people and lying to himself..........


Perhaps you could explain to him, in very blunt terms, how his relying on you for an alibi is making you feel like a weasel, then suggest that he is welcome to get in touch when he has sorted his baggage out.

I've gotten kinda disillusioned last few years. Bad relationship experiences and know so many friends - male and female - who routinely cheat on their husbands/wives and don't think twice. I have felt like a naive fool and kinda stopped believing in love and fidelity and all that. While not a thread I'd usually read on SB, it's really refreshing to see so many people stand for values I thought were maybe dead. Thank you very much - has kind of restored my faith in love a little bit. Nice to think maybe those values aren't too much to hope for

Good luck YB. Takes lots of courage to stand for your values - especially when it's a mate who's compromising them

newguy said...
I mean what do you have if you don't stand by your morals?

Too right!! If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Pictures or it didn't happen.

mattyjee said...

Maybe he's cheating on his wife with your wife?

Cheers guys and gals for some of the positive reply's they certainly are helping to understand his irrationality.
I have tried all week to catch up sit down and talk but he is apparently to busy.
After talking to another friend and him it sounds like she is definitely onto it, she has started to notice the changes in him and gave him a surprise visit and caught the 2 talking. So tempting to send her a message "your getting warmer" but but... yea I'm not sure.

I am now only giving him a week to confess or his lost a great mate. After a brief talk this week I did explain you can not use me as an excuse anymore as I also associate with one of her girlfriend and husband, he understood that as our hobbies/interest always aligned

The more I read and think about it the sicker I feel for not telling her and knowing what he is doing - almost ashamed - but not far off

The girl he is dating does know he is married and does not care (bitcx) although I have not seen her for about 3 months she is always trying to get on my good books through facebook - I dont have a bar of it and deleted her of my account.

I hope he does get caught out now( they don't own a house) and she pillages all other possessions. I am staying reserved for 1 reason now and that's their child - I hate broken families as I come from one.

To be cont.......

youngbull said...


Cheers all, you guys where more on the money than me...

Good on you YB - it sounds like you were always on the money, you just needed confirmation - which you obviously got. Your 2 (ex) mates might come around & find their morals one day, but at the moment it sounds like they are fairly toxic, so best to keep a distance or they'll possibly drag you down with them.

Young Bull, it sounds like you have followed your values on this one. Not everyone has the courage to do that.
Best direct your energies to friends/family that share your values.
Good luck

Sounds like she puts out, start tapping her as well, that way you guys can hang out some more