A brother in law left at home alone for the week, drank all his survival money on his first night of temporary bachelor freedom. by weeks end he was eating stale bread peanut butter and chicken salt sangas.
This extraordinary recipe is a staple in our household on a Saturday morning, and once tasted is not easily forgotten.
Step 1. Take two slices of white bread and stick them in the toaster. Step 2. Remove the 2 slices of burnt toast, turn the toaster down and put two more slices in Step 3. Take a tin of sardines in tomato sauce and open using the little key provided on the tin Step 4. Stop swearing, there are kids in the house. Step 5. Throw the key away and try opening the can with a proper can opener. Step 6. Band aid. Step 7. take the now cold toast and slather with enough butter to give Elvis a heart attack. Step 8. Using a fork mash the sardines and tomato sauce to a paste on the toast. Step 9. Season with sea salt and cracked black pepper like a wannabe chef you poncey wanker you. Step 10. Sit on the lounge and watch cartoons with the kids while you eat your culinary masterpiece. Step 11. Do fish burps for the rest of the day.
For when annoying relatives turn up unannounced MEOW and you need MEOW to whip up a quick snack.
Loaf of MEOW Unsliced White MEOW bread Small can of Kitty MEOW Kat (preferably the variety with liver as it allegedly tastes more like MEOW pate') If you don't like cats (who does) subsistute for My Dog Gourmet Treat Tobasco Sauce (Red or Green will suffice) Grated Cheese Sprigs of Parsley*
Cut MEOW bread into thick slices Grill bread on one side until it is golden MEOW brown Remove crusts with a sharp knife Check and make sure MEOW cat or WOOF dog is outside Spread Kitty Kat on untoasted side of bread Sprinkle Tobasco MEOW sauce over Kitty Kat Sprinkle with grated cheese MEOW Cut bread into triangles Grill until cheese is bubbling*
Serve and await the faltering compliments or requests to use the toilet Enjoy peace and quiet for MEOW next 12 months
