Decrep was half way back to his comfortable lounge chairand ancient unsolved sudoku puzzles when he had a sudden flash back of rellie picking up the remote. Oh no he thought I bet I know what he's going to do. (Come on you all know what Rellies going to do, turn everything up to max of course). So adjusting his infinite improbability drive slippers decrep heads back to the spaceship, finds Hardie in the library, so engrossed in outwitting the alarm system, he's unaware that 80% of his body weight has been turned to semen. Poor guy is just a stick figure with 2 huge balls. Decrep grabs his old mate saying "forget the *&^% book", and steers him to the virtual reality cubicle. gets the head set on no probs but the groinal unit is a bit of a struggle (for obvious reasons). Dials up the giant crab orgie sequence, shuts the door and leaves hardie to it. ( the most extactic. passionate enduring virtual crab affair the like of which has never been seen before or since!!!!)
The cleaners want to award decrep a huge prize for saving them form having to clean a library flooded with the products of hardies exploded testicles.
But decrep says, not yet we aren't out of the woods yet.
The groinal attachments waste plumbing was never designed to cope with the huge load hardie's now inflicting on it. And he's going to eventually emerge a shadow of his former self, he'll weigh much less than Greeny!!!!
We'll need lots of high bulk food.
And Is there a PLUMBER!!! in the house????

THE END.

......... The Grinch had experienced toxic overload and wanted to control the whole universe..... Yes control freaks still existed in the 72nd century...... However, in the 72nd century most control freaks had worked out, that if they didn't like a particular forum thread they didn't actually have to open it and read it......... However, some were still slow to learn this simple but effective 21st century technique........

It was a fitting ending I thought!

Kudos to Hardie for thinking up the idea in the first place, it shows that there's a niche for letting the suppressed writer out in all of us.

Maybe we've figured out what subconsciously we all want to be? Or not, in which case someone cleverer than me needs to figure out a new thread similar to the sci-fi one that lets us all be as weird as we like

I feel as though I am trapped at the waste water treatment plant