........Things were happening so quickly hardie could not keep up, he was beginning to decompensate into a regressed infantile shape..... He knew what he needed..."Breast", the only thing that could soothe him now was to suckle a nipple....... The closest thing to a breast in that company was Grumples saggy pecks........ He crawled over and nestled into his masculine buddies breats and started to suckle.........."What the **** are doing" cried the starteled Grumples until he realised he was enjoying having his breast suckled, and his ear fiddled with, that he held hardie close and whispered......... "there ... there my sweet you... are safe now...ooh no biting sweety....."
which brought him from the bushes to the front lawn where elmo was at it hammer and tongs with the neighbours cat......
this scene shocked Hardie knowing that Elmo was really a dog lover, and slapped his friend with a slab of salami that was cast aside on the ground near by
........ How Grumps and hardie were found to be tounge kissing each other has been debated by psycohistorians for many years....... Some say it was the intoxication of the sugary milk, but others argue there was no way Grumps could have been lactating........... We can only speculate?
........ There was no way Hardie was going to get sucked into cheap one liners...... he was an artist......... he needed to write poetry and write a sequel to war and peace he would never give in to this crass cheap form of literary brevity......... He often fantasised about that special night with Grumps....... he never thought he could ever find anything more errogenous than the silariun tree crab, but Grumples pecks were something else......
"Never let the facts get in the way of a good story", Wonder woman thought, as she surveyed the maelstrom of activity that had just taken place down below.
........ The stars twinkled more brightly........ The water more sweet......... Life more precious.......... Ulysses even readable........ He had finally found love 46 marriages later, and it was an obese middleaged man that would bring him the ultimate in secure attachment.......... How could he have been so naive, so confused, young gorgeous women were never going to be the answer....
........Hardie's insanity had left everyone shocked....... he had never asked for their infantile projections.... hardie you're a superhero, hardie you're the best........ No I'm not I'm just a a stunningly beautiful middle-aged , half-arsed bi-sexual who has discovered the beauty of hairy non-lactating nipples....... get a grip.......... I can't be what you guyz want me to be...... accept as I am...... see me with real vision.... Not these distorted lenses you call eyes......
