The year 7196 Comic Superhero thread

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nebbian
nebbian
WA
6277 posts
WA, 6277 posts
30 Apr 2007 10:17pm
... closely followed by the intergalactic chain of faux-hardware stores known by the name "Buntings". These stores were laid out according to a detailed plan thought up by a disgruntled council-worker, put through the wash, shredded, reassembled in reverse order, sticky taped together, and accidentally put on the photocopier upside down.

This resulted in countless men wandering up and down aisles with a resigned expression on their face, mentally wondering whether they would go to the "hose as in gardening" section, or the "hose as in automotive" section, when all they wanted to buy was a hose clamp.
monstagerage
monstagerage
VIC
123 posts
VIC, 123 posts
1 May 2007 3:15am
then they found the tool section which house clamps, g, f, quick grips and alligator clips but no hose clamps
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:08pm
.......hardie felt like he was losing his mind, there had been no Galactic sunstorms for what seemed like weeks, his interstellar solar neutron gravitational speed spacecraft had been idle........ hardie began to become self-destructive, in fits of madness he began to play diabolical pranks on people he cared about...... his empathic connections had evaporated in a neural cascade of dopamine overload, he had forgotten to reset the dopamine neural drip feeding machine, which was in hypermode from his last galactic speed ride, and the excess dopamine was causing havoc with his ability to relate to other humans......
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:14pm
....... The Gag became the only thing he cared about....... He reset his wife's eostrogen modulator....... and declined all her advances........ He amplified his daughter's pet Jack Russell adrenalin uptake, causing the already hyper Jack to become manic...... He would send friends to galaxy's light years away, stating that stars were about to explode, when none were, and all the while he giggled and laughed manically...MWA..HAHAHAHA!!!
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:17pm
....... No gag was too outrageuos, no friendship important enough to keep, no family attachment of any value....... gags.......pranks............tricks......practical jokes was all he cared about...... MWA...HAHAHAHAHA.......
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:20pm
.........MWA....HAHAHAHA........ he had spent years developing the Inter-galactic solar explosion championships........ and now he wanted to destroy them...... MWA....HAHAHAHAHA.......... He began to sabotage every significant relationship associated with championships......... MWA...HAHAHAHAHA.......
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:24pm
.......MWA...HAHAHAHA.......MWA...HAHAHAHA..............

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hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
5 May 2007 10:40pm
..... MWA...HAHAHAHAHAHA......he had finally managed to break the code of decrepit's shed, where he was about to destroy the highly prized and jealously gaurded Mandurah Mob's Secret Weapon, .... when he noticed..... besides Decrepit's empty bean bag, sat a hot cup of steaming Milo with a melted pink marshmellow floating atop, and two comfy slippers looking for some cold feet to warm....... and Before he knew it...... hardie lay in the bean bag,.... an empty cup of milo beside him, .... with warm snuggly feet, ..... and he had fallen sound asleep....ZZZZZZ... ZZZZ... ZZZZ.... ZZZZZZZZZZ...... ZZZZZZZZ....... ZZZZZZ
decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
5 May 2007 11:02pm
Just see what a pair of infinite improbability drive slippers will do!!!

PS don't spill the milo in them, you might end up anywhere.
grumplestiltskin
grumplestiltskin
WA
2331 posts
WA, 2331 posts
6 May 2007 8:54am
Grumps wasn't too sure about the bean bag, but it did seem possible that the infinite improbability drive had landed Hardie onto his own couch where he analysed himself into submission ......
NotWal
NotWal
QLD
7436 posts
QLD, 7436 posts
8 May 2007 10:15pm
...surrounded by durgs and water spors. Hardie had morphed, in typical marvel fashion into ... The JOKER, Batmans arch-nemesis. It was now 1955. It was a cloudless night so the bat light failed. Bruce Wayne sat at his industrial sewing machine working on a recut batsail. Albert was entertaining Robin with anal flamethrowers while the boy wonder wondered... and Hardie laughed to himself. This was going to be too easy...

decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
8 May 2007 8:22pm
OH NO we're in an alternative spelling universe!!!!
I'll need to get a Makquarry dikchionary.
nebbian
nebbian
WA
6277 posts
WA, 6277 posts
8 May 2007 8:34pm
Decrepit's slippers were looking decidedly worse for wear, after having been used for nefarious purposes by all manner of k!t3rz...

1n f4ct, !t app34r3d th4t th3 sp3ll!n of d4 ooniverz woz 90!n9 d0wnh!ll, f4st...
decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
8 May 2007 9:22pm
gsekijnenc mmefli he kemdim farmoozle boodyclop menfiz cloomf eeeek!!!!!
nebbian
nebbian
WA
6277 posts
WA, 6277 posts
8 May 2007 9:49pm
The kiters influence had spread to Decrepit's language encoder. Not even a well-schooled babelfish could translate the strange code being emitted by the aforementioned guru...

Hurriedly, the Nebbian collective called a global mind-meld to sort out the problem. Could a new-school BatSail, cut for a skinny mast, really make a sailor that wasn't at Sandius Pointius competitive? Or was there something intangible about the place that made it a windsurfing mecca, on par with the Great Nebula in Hookipa?

The collective didn't notice Hardies stifled "MWA HA HAaaaa..." as he surveyed the scene.
decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
8 May 2007 10:03pm
Thanks Nebs, getting so old I forgot my alternative spelling world babelfish, obviously the standard one doesn't work anymore.

Think we need the help of Slarty Bartfast, maybe he can redesign sandyious pointus to be a bit more squiggly a fjord or 2 should slow them down.

hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
8 May 2007 10:07pm
....... The intergalactic laser missile was directly pointed at the infamous Sandy Point Sandbar, The infamous Pit Crew had won the GPS Speed Challenge for the last 5,189 years in a row, and for Hardie that was 5,198 years too many......
nebbian
nebbian
WA
6277 posts
WA, 6277 posts
8 May 2007 10:13pm
A meeting was called.

"I vote that all entries from Sandius Pointius be decreased by half!", a disembodied but small-sounding voice cried from the crowd.
"No, just chop off one footstrap from every SpeedCraft used at that location!" another replied.

Hmmmm... the team gestalt thought.... That gives me an idea.

If you remove the half of the boom that's not used on a certain tack, remove the other tack's footstrap, and use an asymmetrical fin...

*BINGO* the scoring dilemma was resolved. After all, it works for Guinness World Records on land where you have to do the course in both directions [}:)]
hardie
hardie
WA
4133 posts
WA, 4133 posts
8 May 2007 10:20pm
....... The mind meld was always looking for empathic subtle solutions...... Hardie wanted none of that.... he wanted to be brutal....... Not only was the sandbar to go, but he wanted revenge on the Pit Crew........ The bragging for 5,198 years had stung like acid on an open sore....... the need for revenge was like the craving of a heroin addict........ It needed fulfilling, whether he robbed and destoyed the people he loved...... it didn't matter..... he needed the fix!!
grumplestiltskin
grumplestiltskin
WA
2331 posts
WA, 2331 posts
8 May 2007 11:00pm
Meanwhile the Boy Wonder, Robin (more often known by his street name of ELMO) was growing bored with the Anal Flamethrowing.

"Gosh and Darn that Batman" his brain screamed, fancy dragging me into his relationship woes "Splattering Speed Freaks, to the Estuary". "Alfred, Get my SX will you"

The boy wonder didn't care a tinkers toss for the reputation of the all conquering Pit Crew. The secretly hidden Hardies Run was all he needed to smash their pathetic record into the history books ... and any boss who stops their workers having a day off when its done is a bum! ......
elmo
elmo
WA
8894 posts
WA, 8894 posts
8 May 2007 11:13pm
smeg
NotWal
NotWal
QLD
7436 posts
QLD, 7436 posts
10 May 2007 9:32pm
said the boy wonder.
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